“…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)
We have been considering the place in repentance where the Lord would have us forgive ourselves. C.S Lewis wrote, “I think that if God forgives us, we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.” We have mapped out three practical ways to apply the Lord’s forgiveness, with the caveat that these three principles work when it comes to guilt and remorse, except when they don’t. There is something the three magnificent points cannot touch and that is “shame” of the toxic variety. This is the kind of shame that moves us further away from God rather than closer to Him to receive His forgiveness. And toxic shame needs to be healed.
How does the Lord heal our shame?
a) With Mercy: Shame is mercy-less. The enemy takes the worst images, cherry picks the moments that degrade and defile us, and then repeatedly thrashes us with them. Even if we sense that somehow the Lord may have forgiven us for a particular act or omission, shame leaves us with the sense that we are just the sort of person who would do this sort of thing. “Shame on you!”, we hear in our thoughts. And so we imagine that the Lord feels the same way about us that we do. We imagine that if all this really came into the light, He would throw up His arms in disgust and reject us. The truth is that He does throw open His arms – not to reject us, but to embrace us. He sees our shame and He has mercy for us.
The Cross was for our forgiveness, but, in His mercy, the cross was also to cover our shame. Jesus went to the place of shame – outside of the city, crucified naked as an outcast. This was the ultimate public shaming. “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2) On the cross, Paul reminds us, “How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!” (Hebrews 9:14). The Lord’s desire is to embrace, cover and cleanse us from our shame.
b) With Compassion: And as He embraces us and covers our shame, we apprehend His compassion. We suddenly understand that He knows the pain of our fear. We all have skeletons in the cupboard (or closet) – every one of us. We think, “The truth is worse than what they know…” But God has no joy in exposing our past secrets. He has no desire to embarrass you. In His embrace, we recognize that we are living under His smile. This is the Father who truly sees us. “She [Hagar] gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.’” (Genesis 16:13) And more than this, He allows us to see ourselves as He sees us. Our Heavenly Father says, “My child, look at yourself through My eyes. You have nothing to be ashamed of because My Son has taken all your shame upon Himself – so that you will never have to.”
As the Lord heals our shame with mercy and compassion, and as His light dawns in the darkest recesses of our hearts, we catch sight of ourselves through His eyes. Max Lucado wrote, “Your eyes look in the mirror and see a sinner, a failure, a promise-breaker. But by faith you look in the mirror and see a robed prodigal bearing the ring of grace on your fingers, the kiss of your Father on your face.”
And when toxic shame is healed and we are released from its clutches, it is so much easier to apply those three magnificent principles of His forgiveness:
1) Don’t accept guilt over what you have sincerely and unreservedly confessed to God.
2) Having sincerely and unreservedly confessed, hold your head up high as if you never sinned in the first place and therefore have nothing to be ashamed of.
3) Boldly and unashamedly, ask God to bless you even though you know you don’t deserve it.
The current befuddlement you may be experiencing, with a renewed sense of the operation of sin in your lives is, in reality, an answer to your prayer for more grace. Only by the light of His grace can we recognize the power of sin lodged within us. This is about our shame leading us to expect rejection but instead being met by God’s embrace. When allowed to penetrate fully, God’s loving embrace speaks to the deepest strata of our souls and displaces our self-hatred, shame and fear of rejection and takes us through the night into the daylight of His truth.
“Do not be afraid, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are mine. You are precious in my eyes because you are honored and I love you…the mountains may depart, the hills will be shaken, but my love for you will never leave you and my covenant of peace will never be shaken.” (Isaiah 43:1, 4; 54:10).
In His great love,
+ Andrew
I am so touched by your ministry. God uses your watchwords to Bless me. Over and over, they speak to my need to hear God’s love. Thank you soo much for your faithfulness to His calling!
I am so very appreciative of Bishop Andrew’s teaching on forgiveness that works, “except when it doesn’t.” He has moved now to divine healing as a remedy for our stubborn shame. Of course, all forgiveness is healing, but it is good to receive counsel on matters of letting go and shooting past, by grace, that which stands against us with considerable force.
My only addition–and maybe this is coming–would be the role the body of Christ plays in mediating healing forgiveness. Getting past “toxic variety” shame is rarely something that can be done in isolation–just me, my Bible and Jesus in the air. We need the assistance of the Christian community, through confession and absolution, one-one-one with pastors and/or in small groups, to work through deep-seated sin and wounding. So James writes in that well-known verse: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (5:16). It is up to us as shame-filled individuals to be willing to go to the body for help; and it is up to the church more and more to provide venues, with well-trained leadership and ample confidentiality, for the task at hand.
Thank you so much for offering my redemption from my former self. I know that God has forgiven me and I pray that I can step forward into a new me with His grace. My favorite hymn tells that EVEN ME is my future self. Blessing Always
Drew,
I have followed you all week and I very much needed to hear this, for the devil pesters me every day with one of my many, past, wrong doings–before I can ask God to intervene.
As you may remember, I was a drunk for twenty-three years, and treated people very badly.
The Lord is my savior–not just because he lifted my addiction–but because he protected me while I was driving in blackouts. And when I crashed, he saved me from death many times.
He loved me from birth when only my grandmother did.
I have many reasons to love the Lord and I am truly grateful to Him.
Bless you, Drew, for your love, faith, and inspiration,
Tom
Thanks Drew,
This was a great week of blogs.
I’m sure like many, I feel this was ME!
Thankyou again..
PS.
I really missed your narrative on this last one.
Have a good week.
H.