In a chaotic time when we must be persevering in God’s grace more than ever, it is possible that you may feel you’re going backward in your walk with God. Perhaps certain things you were sure you overcame have returned, and maybe there are a few new things that you are beginning to recognize as contrary to God’s best for you. I want to suggest that this is not your “going backward” but is actually an answer to our prayers for more of God’s grace.
Let me begin (thanks to Fleming Rutledge’s theological masterpiece, The Crucifixion) by talking about the nature of sin. Sin is a verb. It is something that we perform or engage in. Paul reminds us: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). But sin is also a noun, a dominion under which humanity exists. Paul also wrote, “Are we Jews any better off? No, not at all. For we have already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin.” (Romans 3:9). Sin is, therefore, not so much a collection of individual misdeeds but an active, malevolent agency bent on undoing God’s purposes in the world and in our lives. Rutledge writes, “Our misdeeds are the signs of that agency at work; they are not the thing itself.” Sin is not something we merely commit; it is something that we are in. Jesus said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.” (John 8:34). As slaves, we are in need of deliverance, to be liberated by a greater power.
The New Testament teaches that Jesus Christ came in order to atone for our sins by his death on the cross but also to overcome the power and dominion of sin through his resurrection. With reference to both Paul assures us, “You who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.” (Colossians 2:13-15). It is the grace of God that engendered the whole thing, including our subsequent repentance. When we come to recognize this collusion with the power of sin, we find that we are already standing in God’s grace.
So how can we respond to this grace?
First, we need to understand that we are in the middle of a very large battle. There are two natures at work in every follower of Jesus and they are in daily conflict with each other:
- The Spirit: a renewed Christian heart made new by the Holy Spirit; and
- The sinful nature (“the flesh”): the aspect of our hearts which are not yet renewed by (or yielded to) Jesus’ Spirit.
Paul stated this plainly: “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other…” (Galatians 5:17). This very large battle is one that I cannot win in my own strength. Although my will is necessary, my will alone is not sufficient to overcome it.
Second, to the very best of our own efforts, we are invited by God to respond to His grace and release our attachment to the strong desires that lead us away from God. This process has a lot to do with humility. David prayed, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.” (Psalm 51:1). David’s plea for mercy is grounded in God’s “steadfast love” and “abundant mercy.” Rutledge observes that while David’s spirit is crushed by the knowledge of his sinfulness, stronger still is his confidence in God’s desire and ability to cleanse him from his sin.
I am humbled by the fact that God’s grace pursues me, notwithstanding the fact that my collusion with sin is ultimately against Him. “For I know my transgressions,” writes David, “and my sin is ever before me. Against you [God], you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight…” (Psalm 51:3).
I am humbled by God’s Word as it gives me understanding of my sin and I am given the opportunity to be really honest about where I have failed. So, standing in the spotlight of God’s grace, I do the very best I can in the moment to confess my sins and release them to Him. Under his warm and bright light, I can contemplate in prayer how to move away from them. What can I do to turn off the sirens in my life? How can I bring my will to bear upon this release? You may be wondering how our feeble attempts to let go of these desires can be helpful in a battle that we are powerless to win on our own. How can five loaves and two fish feed a hungry crowd of thousands? In Jesus’ hands, somehow, they did. We are powerless to win our battle with sin by ourselves, but standing in the grace of God we are supernaturally empowered to do just that by the power of His Spirit. Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, the way has been made for us to accept His mercy, love, and guidance in our lives.
This is why, even as more sin in our lives may come to our attention, in reality we can know this is an answer to prayer for more of God’s grace. Only by the light of His grace can we recognize the power of sin within us and bring it to God for his mercy and healing. Rutledge concludes, “The grace of God prepares the way for the confession of sin. It is present in the confession, and even before the confession is made has already worked the restoration of which confession is not the cause but the sign.”