Category: Lifestyle

When Jesus spoke about “planks of wood” and “specks of sawdust” that we have in our own eyes and spot in each other’s (Matthew 7:3-4), he was not laying down a mandate for us not to bring the truth to each other. I cannot see the “plank of wood” sticking out of my own eye (very likely because I do not want to!). But you can see it! I don’t like that you can see it because, quite frankly, it ruins my image of myself. For lo, in mine own eyes, I am awesome! … until you ruin everything by telling me differently. 

So how are we to speak to the speck that we see in another person? How do we speak God’s truth to each other? The apostle Paul lays out the ground rules: we are to be a people who are continuously “speaking the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:15). 

There is a remarkable lesson in how to do that found in the book of Daniel. When you read chapter two it is almost like the ultimate double jeopardy version of speaking the truth in love. If Daniel gets this conversation with the king wrong, he is going to die — literally, horribly. Hopefully, the stakes will not be that high for us, but certainly if we can learn to speak the truth in love it will always bring life. The key to Daniel’s success is all in the mercy that he brings to the task. 

1. Mercy in Relationship: King Nebuchadnezzar II of Babylon (605 B.C. – 562 B.C.) was the richest, most powerful man on the face of the planet at that time. He was in the process of creating an empire that would, at least in his imagination, immortalize him. And yet his nightmares give away a deep insecurity. These dreams signal a change in his fortunes and we find a man whose desperation to know the truth has made him dangerously paranoid. He called for his magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and astrologers, and demanded that they interpret the troubling dream. They begin, “O King, live forever! Tell your servants the dream, and we will interpret it.” (verse 4). But they have missed a subtle detail. Nebuchadnezzar had demanded that they not only interpret the dream but first they must tell him what the dream was. The penalty for getting this wrong is death as well as the destruction of their houses. With a visible sweat forming on their brows, they eventually answer, “What the king asks is too difficult. No one can reveal it to the king except the gods, and they do not live among men.” (verse 11).

Paradoxically, they are speaking the truth. Nobody can do what the king is asking. Human wisdom is inadequate. Pagan wisdom has no answers. Only God can do this. So, what is the king’s response to this deposit of truth? We are told that Nebuchadnezzar became “angry and furious” and issued a decree that “all the wise men of Babylon” should be executed. That broad category included Daniel and his friends. 

At this point Daniel enters the scene. Daniel has some relational history with the king and his servants. One of the young men who had been handpicked from the Jewish people taken into exile, he has turned up for his Babylonian fine art seminars, learned the language, and built a trusted relationship with the king’s officers [Daniel 1: 3-4]. Daniel has been observed to stand firm on just one issue (concerning what he will eat) but this has added to his integrity. And at the end of chapter one we are told that the king himself found Daniel and his friends to be “ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.” (Daniel 1:20b). 

This relational investment now comes into play. He speaks to the officer of the guard who has orders to find the wise men and put them to death. We’re told that he speaks with “prudence and discretion” (verse 14) as he inquires as to what is going on. Nebuchadnezzar agrees to the audience, listens to Daniel and grants him his request for extra time. The Babylonian wise men are being gathered up and put on death row. Why this reprieve for Daniel? Why does Daniel get the break?

The point here is that if we want to be able to effectively speak God’s truth in love to another person then the quality or the integrity of our relationship with that person is a crucial prerequisite. 

2. Mercy in Prayer: The first thing that Daniel does is to pray with his friends. Daniel urged them to plead for mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery. What we later learn is that the whole of Daniel’s life was centered upon this deeply prayerful relationship with God (“…he knelt down on his knees three times a day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days.” – Daniel 6:10).

When we feel like some great deposit of truth is burning a hole in our hearts and we need to unleash that truth upon some unsuspecting beneficiary, have we prayed about that? In making our deposit of truth, what is our motivation? With how much mercy have we prayed before we wade in with both feet? If we are not inclined to pray, then it is probably not our job to drop this little bomb of truth. If we can’t pray with mercy in our hearts for the person we think we need to talk to, then we are not ready for the conversation.

3. Mercy in Truth: During the night, the Lord miraculously showed Daniel the vision that the He had given Nebuchadnezzar of a large statue of a man comprised of different elements (gold, silver, bronze, iron, and a mixture of iron and clay) that was destroyed by a rock that then grew and filled the whole earth. Daniel also received the meaning. Without a doubt, Daniel has some tough news to deliver. The summary of Daniel’s vision is “King Nebuchadnezzar, your kingdom is toast!” 

But Daniel brings mercy to truth as he speaks to the king. Daniel told him the dream. Listen to how he begins the interpretation: “You, O king, are the king of kings.” Daniel does not begin by assaulting Nebuchadnezzar’s ego and I doubt he was purposely starting with flattery. What he has said, from a purely earthly perspective, is correct. The king is still listening. Daniel gets to do some more talking and broadens the king’s perspective. “The God of heaven has given you dominion and power and might and glory; in your hands he has placed mankind and the beasts of the field and the birds of the air. Wherever they live, he has made you ruler over them all. You are the head of gold.” (Daniel 2: 37-38).The King is still listening and now Daniel brings him the greatest mercy. At the heart of his interpretation is this clear message: King Nebuchadnezzar, what you possess is yours only by God’s hand and it will be taken from you. There is, however, a Kingdom that belongs to God that will never be destroyed, nor will it be left to another people. This Kingdom, represented as a rock in the vision, will crush all the kingdoms of this world and will itself endure forever.

This Kingdom Daniel is referring to, of course, is the Kingdom of heaven of which we hear a great deal about in the New Testament. This rock is Jesus Christ. He is the rock that crushes the kingdoms of this world because He is the one into whose hands the Father has committed all judgment. He is the living word of truth that speaks to us from the Cross where mercy and justice meet. In fact, the Cross is where we see exactly the mercy of relationship, the mercy of fervent prayer, and the mercy of truth that will eternally set us free. 

How does King Nebuchadnezzar respond to this word of truth that there is a plank of pride that is causing him to not see his position clearly? We are told, “Then King Nebuchadnezzar fell prostrate before Daniel and paid him honor… The king said, ‘Surely your God is the God of Gods and the Lord of Kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery.’” (verse 46-47). The king not only receives the truth but he recognizes Daniel as a representative of the one true God.

We are all called to be little “Daniels.” And if we are to get it right, we will speak in love, in the mercy of a relationship that has integrity, the mercy of prayer that seeks both the Lord’s leading and His forgiveness, and in the mercy of His truth. 

Paul wrote, “But He [Jesus] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Cor. 12:9). So, what is my response to the power of Christ resting upon me? I fully recognize my weakness, but how do I keep my strength up in Jesus? 

Here are a few thoughts: 

1. Look to Jesus. The Word of God encourages us to “…remain faithful to the Lord with steadfast purpose” (Acts 11:23) and yet at the same time, acknowledges that our hearts, as Richard Sibbes (17^th-century theologian) put it, are “…very loose and unsettled.” And because of this, Sibbes counseled, “…we must [first] look up to Christ, the quickening [life-giving] Spirit and make our resolutions in His strength.” So in my weakness, I am encouraged to look first to Jesus and pray to Lord God as David did, “…direct [my] heart toward You.” (1 Chronicles 29:18). “This,” noted Sibbes, “is a pleasing request, out of love to God …” And it is a prayer that Jesus will always answer.

2. Soak in His word. Sibbes would also encourage us to “store up [God’s Word] in our hearts, and refresh them often…” There is a tradition that says David used Psalm 119 to teach his young son Solomon the alphabet – but not just the alphabet for writing letters: the alphabet of the spiritual life. And in this way, David told Solomon (and us), “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119: 105).

3. Take every opportunity to draw near to Jesus. James exhorted believers to “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). Jesus invites me to take every advantage of the unfettered access to Himself that He has given me through His work on the cross: by His word, in prayer, in worship, in solitude, in fellowship, and in serving and loving of others. In staying close to Jesus, His Spirit has the fullest opportunity to show me where my weakness lies and where the enemy has some measure of hold over me. Scripture assures us, “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Staying close to Jesus enables us to more swiftly recognize His promised escape routes. 

4. Acknowledge that I am weak. So when I fail, the first thing I need to do is to overcome my pride and humbly confess my sin to God and then allow Jesus to lift shame and guilt from my heart by accepting His complete and total forgiveness. Sibbes ventured that in a believer’s life there can be said to be three stages in overcoming sin: The first is where we try to resist but we are foiled. The second is where, having failed and sought His mercy, His grace then helps us overcome – but it really was a battle! The third stage is where we suddenly discover that by His grace some particular temptation is now under the submission of Jesus. Sibbes is not suggesting that this process is linear. This is no waltz – 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3… For me, it would look more like 1, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2…3! This is perhaps just another way of saying that we are a continuing work in progress, and He is patient and merciful. He has promised “…I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.” (Isaiah 57:15)

Sibbes offered our loose and unsettled hearts these words of encouragement: “Grace, as the seed in the parable, grows, we know not how. Yet at length, when God sees fittest, we shall see that all our endeavor has not been in vain.” 

I pray that you would know the power of Christ resting upon you and that His grace is sufficient for you.

About a year ago I had the privilege of spending time with a man who had a very long, studied and successful career as a senior partner with one of the most successful accounting practices in US history. We sat in his backyard on a Autumn morning that made you grateful to live in a world where there are Autumns. There is something innately nostalgic about the annual cascade of autumn leaves.

We talked about many things, including his career. I remarked that he must have seen a great deal of change, and he smiled. He had been responsible for leading corporate strategy, and he recalled a time when the firm was doing well and his partners were divided about the future. Some looked to the future, eager to meet new challenges, while others said that their preferred future was about professionally servicing the status quo with excellence. He spent many hours looking not just within the market place but also to history, nature and science. He produced a report that brought the strongest recommendation. The world changes every second, and like autumn foliage, it blows new opportunities in all directions. The art of a life well lived is the ability to readjust to our surroundings and those opportunities. History repeatedly revealed that the cost of doing the same thing over and over again is far greater than the cost of change. Ecology showed how, in the words of Charles Darwin, “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” His partners agreed, and the firm went on to scale new heights of success while at the same time raising the bar of excellence in customer care. 

Someone once said that uttering the word “change” in the church is the equivalent of yelling “Shark!” at the beach! I recall that at the church I first attended, after a few months of my showing up, they changed the time of the evening service and planted a new church. I was horrified. I had found something so wonderful that I wanted to preserve my lived experience of it. This same church has now reproduced itself many times over and has a vast array of service times in church plants all over London and the UK. I am glad that they did not ask or heed my opinion in that early season of my following Jesus. 

Nevertheless, change can be really hard. Rosabeth Moss Kanter wrote, “Change is disturbing when it is done to us, exhilarating when it is done by us.” Even the godliest people naturally attach to beloved traditions and customs, and find it painful to say goodbye to them. We hate to lose those things where we find our identity. We fear the uncertainty of the unknown. We wonder whether and where we will fit in the new order. But to follow Jesus is to surrender to change both personally and as a family of believers. John Henry Newman wrote, “To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” The Christian life is never static. This is an important concept as we co-operate with God in His process of sanctification in our lives. Within each of us exists the image of God and beneath the layers of sin and pain that has dinted and scraped our souls, Jesus is able to restore this image, and through the grace of change we are conformed to His image. Paul wrote, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” [Romans 12:2]. 

Ecclesiastes reminds us that we can to expect to experience change in our life in God, “For everything there is a season. A time to keep and a time to cast away.” [Ecclesiastes 3:1-8]. And perhaps most profoundly, Jesus primed us to anticipate change in the increase of His Kingdom through the advance of His church. He promised us, “I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” [Matthew 16:18]. This is not a picture of the church in a bunker, with its hands metaphorically covering its head, fending off the attacks of the enemy. This is His church on the advance. This is a picture of His Kingdom of light prevailing over the kingdom of darkness.  

One of the most outstanding Biblical leaders is Joshua. And in a very strategic period of change for God’s people, as they crossed the river Jordan to enter the promised land we are told, “And all Israel was passing over on dry ground until all the nation finished passing over the Jordan.” [Joshua 3:14-17]; all generations from the youngest to the eldest made it, nobody got left behind. Kingdom change is about being honest that we don’t have all the answers but together in prayer and in prayerful deliberation and discussion we will find our way across our own rivers. Kingdom change seeks Godly counsel. It affirms and cherishes relationship, showing a genuine concern and respect for others. Kingdom change learns to move with the Holy Spirit. It is flexible, able to accommodate and modify its speed and direction upon the wise and Godly counsel of others. Of paramount importance, Kingdom change will always seek to glorify God. Paul wrote, “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31) 

As my new friend and I headed back to the house, the most exquisite monarch butterfly followed us across the yard. My host explained that his neighbor raised butterflies in her glass house. It struck me that this was the perfect metaphor to end our conversation on the necessity and virtue of change. We can learn a lot from the butterfly. It begins its life crawling and devouring everything in its sight that is green. Spun into a cocoon, it must surely have to overcome claustrophobia as it patiently waits for the day when it struggles to exit what were only temporary paper walls. It is exactly in that struggle that the butterfly grows both in strength and beauty until, on a perfect Autumn morning, it’s ready to spread its wings and fly. 

I taught all three of my daughters to swim. Not to any accredited athletic standard, but just enough to get them moving approximately in a horizontal direction whilst remaining oxygenated. When my eldest daughter, Katie, was just four years old, I told her that on the day she could swim a length of the pool unaided, I would buy her a CD player. These were highly coveted items in the previous century.

I said, “You can do this! I know this feels scary, but all you have to do is take a deep breath and jump. I promise you won’t sink and I am right here!” I had imagined that this challenge would take at least a few months to be accomplished. To my utter amazement she looked at me and then at the water, took a deep breath, jumped and swam her first length! Her smile said it all.

When my youngest daughter, Olivia, had just turned seven I was successful in persuading her to take her first solo jump from the diving board. I was in the water, calling up to the tiny aquanaut anxiously edging her way to the brink of the abyss. From beneath the board, I encouraged her, “You can do this! I know this feels scary, but all you have to do is take a deep breath and jump. I promise that you will not sink and I am right here!” She looked at me and then at the water, took a deep breath and jumped. As she bobbed back to the surface, her smile said it all.

And then all too soon, Katie left us all for her freshman year at college. The summer was spent making lists and packing, with me pretending that I was not counting down the days to the heartbreak of farewell. We compressed what seemed like the contents of a four-bedroom house into the car and made the eleven-hour road trip to the next bright chapter of her life. 

I had been wondering just what I was going to say to her when we finally came to the big goodbye. I had prayed about this. What words are there? And if there were some words of particular wisdom and profundity, shouldn’t I have said them sometime before?! We hauled her belongings up to her dorm room and as my wife, Elena, helped Katie unpack, I was deployed to construct a set of drawers from Bed Bath & Beyond. The task was indeed almost beyond me. And then suddenly it was time to say goodbye. An upper classman knocked politely at the door and informed Katie that the welcome lunch meeting was about to start. I asked if we might come too, and he politely shook his head. One moment my self-assembly handiwork was being likened to the leaning Tower of Pisa, and then it was goodbye. Eighteen beautiful years, and then goodbye! I wasn’t sure that I was capable of saying anything, and then I knew exactly what to say.

I held her very close and repeated some familiar words, “You can do this! I know this is scary, but all you have to do is take a deep breath and jump. I promise you that you will not sink, and don’t you ever doubt that I will always be here for you!” So, she took a deep breath and then she jumped. We remained in her dorm room (for me to re-assemble the drawers under Elena’s supervision) and we listened, as her footsteps grew faint. I peered around the door to see how far she had made it down the corridor but she was already out of sight. Later that night she sent us a photograph of herself amidst a sea of new faces. Her smile said it all.